


Hard To Breathe (I Can Feel Your Heartbeat Through My Skin)

by waterofthemoon



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, One Shot, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-19
Updated: 2007-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:31:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen doesn't think he'll ever get Jared, but he's willing to wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard To Breathe (I Can Feel Your Heartbeat Through My Skin)

**Author's Note:**

> Not a happy ficlet. Prompted by [**zortified**](http://zortified.livejournal.com/profile) and betaed by my girl [**unperfectwolf**](http://unperfectwolf.livejournal.com/profile). ♥

Jensen's always thought of himself as a patient man.

It's something he prides himself on—being the only one to stay calm when production runs hours behind schedule or his stupid ass co-star still can't figure out that Jensen's been using his wide hands and wider smile as fantasy material practically since the day they met. Jensen sees it as a gift; Jared sees it as endlessly frustrating, a bad habit he needs to break Jensen of before it's too late.

Jared is... half the time, Jensen wants to strangle him, but mostly, he just wants to push him against any available surface and put that boundless energy of his to good use, especially when Jared's laughing and putting his hands everywhere. Jensen's private by nature, but within two weeks of shooting together, he finds himself telling Jared all kinds of things he hasn't even thought about in years. He lets Jared invade all his personal space boundaries and invades a few himself, and somewhere along the line, it becomes Jared's body starring in his wet dreams, Jared's name on his lips when he jacks off, Jared, Jared, Jared. And then there was Sandy.

Jensen didn't meet Sandy until after the show got picked up for the first season. She showed up on set one day while they were filming one of the early episodes, tiny and cute and perfect, and Jensen watched Jared pick her right up and swing her around before making introductions. "Jensen, this is my girl Sandy," he said with pride, slipping a possessive hand around her ribcage. To this day, Jensen can't remember what he said in response, but he assumes it was appropriately polite and friendly because Sandy doesn't hate him, even though she should.

Later, he heard them fucking against the wall of Jared's trailer—heard the rhythmic thumps in time with her little breathy gasps and Jared's low-pitched encouragement as he thrust in, his long, grateful moan when he came. The sound made Jensen come in his jeans without warning, right there in the open with one hand bracing him against Jared's trailer. It was then that he realized Jared might have more of a hold on him than simple attraction, which meant he was pretty much screwed, pun not intended.

He's never told Jared anything about this, the things he wants to do and feel with him. He doesn't even know where to start. Sure, Jared knows he likes guys—Jared knows almost everything about him—but he doesn't know that Jensen loves getting fucked in the shower, doesn't know that sometimes Jensen likes to be held down, doesn't know that Jensen didn't have a type before him, doesn't know, doesn't know. It's better this way, easier on both of them. Jared's not averse to the male sex, but that doesn't mean he wants Jensen, and even so, it's a bad idea.

Instead, Jensen dates and fucks girls, picking them for their blonde or red hair and supple chests as much as anything else—anything to keep from imagining impossibly broad shoulders and long legs, floppy chestnut hair and challenging hazel eyes when he covers them in bed and presses in deep with fingers and cock. It doesn't work, not entirely, but the intent is there. He thinks that's enough.

He drinks and smokes, he screws girls but doesn't screw around on any of them, and he horses around with Jared on and off set like he wouldn't rather be sucking Jared's dick. Like he doesn't get hard every time they throw down, like he's not tempted to take advantage of Jared when they get drunk together, like Jared's crooked early morning smile doesn't make him wish he could see Jared very first thing, tangled up all soft and sleepy-tousled in Jensen's white sheets.

Jensen's a patient man. He thinks he can wait for Jared, even if that means waiting forever.


End file.
